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Post by Chastity on Sept 16, 2004 9:50:53 GMT -5
Ready for some drama, kids?
I got myself in a very controversial situation. I supposedly cheated on my boyfriend. It's very controversial due to the nature of it. If anyone is interested, just PM me and I'll give the details of the story. Some people say I didn't cheat. Others say I did. I feel in my heart, I did not cheat.
Anyways, luckily my boyfriend forgave me but it still bugs me to be seen as a cheater. I always vowed to myself to never cheat and to have that "maybe I did" feeling hung over your head isn't a good thing. I'm a firm believer in karma and I just wouldn't want anything of that sort to get back at me when all I had were good intentions.
Bah. I don't know where I'm going with this. All I could feel is a mixture of emotions ranging from anger to sadness to the guilt felt for feeling as if I was a bad person and an awful girlfriend.
I felt I needed to rant so here I am.
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Post by Car on Sept 16, 2004 12:50:08 GMT -5
Yeah!! We're always ready for some drama!
Don't worry, yeah cheating is a hard issue, i have a story similar like yours, the little tiny bit small difference was that my girlfriend didnt forgave me
Two questions:
Would you forgive a person that cheated on you?
What's worst: Seen as a cheater? or Seen as cheated on you?
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Post by Chastity on Sept 16, 2004 14:19:32 GMT -5
I don't think I can ever forgive a person again for cheating on me. I've forgiven my ex three times but he kept hurting me. He was your typical loser--it couldn't get any worse than that.
I think being seen as a cheater is worse. Especially in my situation where nothing was CLEAR. As for the basics of cheating (kissing and everything sexual with the opposite sex), I did not do any of that. I can proudly say I'm not guilty over that.
However, my boyfriend and I never discussed what specifically was cheating. What my idea of not cheating was his idea of cheating. That's where miscommunication took place.
I'm sad though because I am not the type to cheat. All my friends know that. Everyone knows I am an honest person who would not dare manipulate someone in any manner. Everyone knows I am blunt and I don't hide things when I feel them. I can understand that my boyfriend feels betrayed but at the same time I feel insulted for being accused of cheating--especially the fact that I told him the day after it happened and I told him every single detail wihout any guilt (that's how confident I felt because I felt I didn't commit any moral crimes). Even the people who witnessed my so called "infidelity", viewed it as nothing wrong.
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Post by Chastity on Sept 24, 2004 1:38:53 GMT -5
This is so weird. I used to work with this guy and he was really sweet. He says hi on MSN tonight and so we got into this conversation. Then came up the subject of my piercings. I'm not exactly pierced in a visible place. Everyone has been dying to see my piercings--even my girl friends want to see them. I haven't shown any of them. So here I am talking to him and then he keeps begging me to go on cam. I do once. Then he keeps asking me again. I say no because I hate the cam and I feel self conscious on it. Then he proceeds to ask me about my boyfriend. He starts to ask me if he can see my piercings. I made it very clear that I had a boyfriend and showing my piercings to him would be pretty much cheating. So he's cool with it...for about five seconds. He proceeds to tell me that it will "be our little secret" and that "no one has to know." He kept begging and begging and begging. He has a girlfriend too. I feel awful for his girlfriend. I haven't flirted with him lately (way back then, we were supposed to date--long story) and he used to be really sweet. These days he's acting so different. He's acting desperate or something. Never in the past would he constantly beg. Hm. That's another episode to continue on along the issue of cheating or behaviour that is close to cheating... Everyone, share your experiences to add to the drama.  |
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Post by Devilme on Sept 24, 2004 2:10:55 GMT -5
I could add one. But not right now. All Swedish people can read about 1 year in my shoes on p3 star forum!.. Were I told about something that happend me.
Chasity, Were do you ahve your piercing? I dont want to see it. I just want to know where it is. And what happend. What is it that you have been acused for cheating. What did you do?
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Post by fUx0r on Sept 24, 2004 12:07:24 GMT -5
haha... i haven't dated in five years, and i'm happy on keeping it like that. too much damn drama with american women... i'm like the perpetual bachelor.
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Post by Chastity on Sept 24, 2004 18:47:47 GMT -5
Devilme, if you really want to know...my nipples are pierced.  |
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Post by fUx0r on Sept 24, 2004 19:28:07 GMT -5
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Post by Caroline on Sept 24, 2004 20:21:04 GMT -5
Cheating is not really my department. Ive never experiemented that situation in both way. Something I realized with time is that I wasn't that perfect about cheating cause in my life I consent to sleep with some guys even when I knew they were yet in a commitment. So I stopped this behavior once I realized that its encouraging cheating thing that I don't promote in my own couple. I say in my own cause I don't jugde people who are comfortable with that idea (swingers).
You know only you know if what you consider cheating. Cheating is relative. You just need to be clearer on what you think yourself. You should try to forgive yourself first for it though. You know by our mistakes, its how we evolve. Its how next you will happen to be more vigilent and be more conscient of what you are doing. Everyone is there best judge cause you know yourself like no one else better. Try to get a more precise definition of cheating for you and then now you will start on new basis and then let the past behind. It's done it's over.
/lovekarro xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by Chastity on Sept 24, 2004 20:39:19 GMT -5
I see that fUx0r is a bit pleased regarding my piercings.  I don't believe in cheating at all. I was miserable when my ex had sex with two girls behind my back when we were still dating. Everyone knew I completely hated the notion of cheating. It's pointless and it causes unecessary suffering and drama. The "infidelity" I was guilty of was not considered cheating--in my definition. It was not considered cheating to the parties involved. It was only considered cheating to my boyfriend because he envisioned it a hundred times worse than it really was. He did not allow me to go into explicit detail of the event--he immediately threw a fit when I started talking about the event. Now I know better. I have learned that what I did may have not offended others but may have offended my boyfriend and I will do everything to keep this relationship alive. I had idiotic judgment at the time of the event and I'll make sure I don't step into that type of situation again. The last thing I would want is to inflict pain on my boyfriend. I don't ever want him to feel as miserable as I felt when my ex cheated on me. |
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Post by fUx0r on Sept 25, 2004 2:12:11 GMT -5
and that's my problem with the notion of "love". i just think it's a word that's lightly tossed around witout any real thought or meaning behind it. people are always mistaking luster for love and treat sex as if it were some kind os sport worthy of the olympics. besides, it's just another instrument of control.
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Post by fUx0r on Sept 25, 2004 2:12:32 GMT -5
... but i would like to get married some day  |
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